When I was in first grade I was friends with the people in my class, some people I was better friends with than others, but I got along alright with everyone.

One day Ann*, a girl I was kind of friends with told me I could be her best friend on that day. Because her real best friend, Ally* was absent. I felt so honored. I was excited to be Ann's best friend for the day. I thought she was really cool. And I thought that I must be really cool if she wanted to be my best friend. I never thought about the fact that I was only her best friend because her real friend was sick, and she just didn't want to be alone or without a best friend for even the few hours of the school day.

In fifth grade I was friends with fewer people, but I still got along with everyone. If I wasn't friends with someone, I didn't bother them, and they didn't bother me.

During indoor recess (which we would have when it was too cold to play outside) we would stay in the classroom and play games, usually. Many times all the girls in the class would get together and play the game Concentration. Concentration is played by sitting in a circle, and chanting "Concentration now in session, thinking of, names of, colors". The last word (colors) could be substituted by any word that would have a list of different names (animals, fruits, boys, etc.) The people playing the game would then take turns naming one color, but they had to do it on beat of the chant, or else they were out. One thing that we often named was Cars. I don't know why a group of 5th grade girls wanted to list different brands of cars, but some people always called out Cars when it was their turn to choose. I, being a 5th grade girl, had no clue what different brands of cars were. I knew that we had a Dodge mini-van. So, I always said Dodge, or Toyota, or Honda, or something equally exciting. But, one girl, Ally*, always said Mitsubishi. I thought she was so cool for being able to say the word Mitsubishi, and knowing that it was a car brand. I always wanted to be that cool. But for some reason, I never said Mitsubishi when it was my turn. I always said Dodge.

When I was going into 6th grade, I went to a Park District summer camp. I carpooled to camp with Ally*. My mom insisted on it, but I didn't want to. I could never really formulate the words tell my mom why I didn't want to carpool with Ally*, I just didn't want to. I felt intimidated in front of her. I felt like she didn't want to carpool with me. I thought that she was too cool to want to hang out with me. I would sometimes go to her house half an hour before we had to leave for camp. We would always play Mancala. And she seemed nice enough. She seemed to like me and have fun with me. But I still always felt so intimidated and shy when I was around her.

These stories were told because I drove past a Dodge dealer tonight, and for some reason, they all come tumbling into my head. I saw the image of Ally* saying "Mitsubishi", and the rest followed.

(*Those are fake names.)