I'm a college student in the good old midwest.

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I like to procrastinate. I do so by reading these blogs:

Anyone's Any
Blue Goo Ate My Mom
Gaper's Block
In Passing
Incoherent Babblings of Me
Love Many Things
Maybe Tomorrow
Mighty Girl
Spastic Yak
Weblog Wannabe
and her livejournal

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General Archives
Blogathon 2002 Archives
Blogathon 2003 Archives


Thank you:
Blogger for the blogging power
Haloscan for the comments power.


Thursday, December 11, 2003

Right now, I'm sitting in a random classroom alone, talking to myself in Spanish. (In preparation for my speaking final tomorrow).

I'm sitting here and not in my room because my room is invested with germs. Two of the four of us are sick. They keep coughing and coughing and getting germs and snot and other grossness everywhere. And I don't want to get sick. Actually, I refuse to get sick. But, it's still gross in there. And they keep coughing and their coughing makes me want to gag. And I feel bad that they're sick and it's not their fault or anything, but I don't want to go back to my room!

My whole floor is infested with sickness, pretty much. In the last two weeks, at least eight of the fourteen people on our floor have been sick. Some of them, twice! How do you stay healthy in college? It's like I'm just locked up in a vat of gross germs and I can't get out. Our room smells of sick people (not throw-up or anything, just, the smell of sickness). Our whole campus is sick. It's a good thing everyone's leaving soon, otherwise I fear that no one would ever get well.

Posted by Serene Chaos at 9:13:00 PM °°°

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

My roommate didn't come back to the room last night. I don't know where she is! Am I allowed to be worried? She usually comes back to the room after her 9:00 class, but she didn't today. Ahh.

Added at 2:02pm: Don't worry! I found her! She just fell asleep on someone's couch last night on the other side of campus. I just had these images of her thrown into the back of a pick-up truck covered in snow. (I think I need to take the random images in my head and turn them into a fictional book of some type...)

Posted by Serene Chaos at 10:42:00 AM °°°

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

"All the rest came
They tried to make me laugh
They played their games with me
Some games for fun and some for keeps
And then they went away
Leaving me in the ruins of games
Not knowing which were for keeps and
Which were for fun and
Leaving me alone with the echoes of
Laughter that was not mine.
Then you came
With your funny way of being
Not quite human
And you made me cry
And you didn't seem to care if I did
You just said the games are over
And waited
Until all my tears turned into
-"Sheila" from One Child. Though I like the old cover better.
(Actual copy of poem.)

Why do I like those books so much? Why have I read One Child at least 15 times? What is in them that makes me want to start over at the beginning as soon as I reach the last page? But the biggest question is, why was I reading that book when I should have been working on or studying for my finals?

Posted by Serene Chaos at 5:39:00 PM °°°

Monday, December 08, 2003

I just wrote one half of one paragraph in one hour. Look at my productivity level. Isn't it wonderful?

Posted by Serene Chaos at 5:15:00 AM °°°

I woke up at 4:00 this morning when my alarm went off. (I have to write a paper). I sat up. The door opened. My roommate entered.
"Hey, [R]!" she said.
"What are you doing up?" I asked her.
"I'm going to bed now," she replied. "Are you getting up?"
"Yeah, I am. And you are crazy," I answered. "You're just going to bed now?"
"I just got back from the science building," she replied.
So, I got up, and went to my computer. She got into bed.
"See you in three hours," she told me.
"See you in three hours," I replied.

Posted by Serene Chaos at 4:52:00 AM °°°

Sunday, December 07, 2003

So, my birthday was supposed to be really good. At midnight one of my roommates gave me flowers and a sticky hand. Another roommate gave me a Lizzie McGuire Calendar (mockingly, but still, it was a cute idea). Everywhere I went people wished me a happy birthday. It was great. Later in the day, someone gave me a Spanish Magnetic Poetry set (again, jokingly because she knows how much I have a love-hate relationship with Spanish class). Someone else gave me a stuffed cow in a cow bag with cow candy (we have this ongoing joke about cows mooing. Really, that's all there is to it. It's no more interesting or complex than that). My mom and grandma both sent me packages full of fun stuff. More people wished me happy birthday. I was surprised with this cake:

I was taken out to dinner the next night. More people wished me happy birthday. Everyone was super nice. My teacher changed the due date for our paper (not because of my birthday, but it was a good part of the day). It was a funtwo days.

I got a whole slew of instant messages and emails from friends wishing me a happy birthday.

But, two of my best friends did not even message me to say hi. They left nothing in their away messages. They said nothing. They didn't call or email. And for some reason, that just really made me...sad? I don't really like birthdays - I don't like all the attention on me. But they are two of my best friends who I have known since elementary school. We always celebrate each others' birthdays. In junior high and high school by decorating each others' lockers. Sometimes having parties. Telling each other that we were thinking of them on their birthday. All I wanted was for them to IM me and say "Happy birthday [R]". Nothing more than that. I just wanted an acknowledgment. And I got nothing. And at first I thought it was anger, but then I realized it was hurt that I was feeling. I was upset And I don't know why it's getting to me so much. But it is. And now as I think about it even more I feel like it really is turning into anger. And that is an emotion I don't feel very often. I don't like feeling angry, and things usually don't anger me. But, like usual, it is the little things that are irking me. And I can't let it go. I want to, but I just keep thinking about it. One of these people, I saw wish someone else a happy birthday in her away message the next day and that just added more hurt to the what I was already feeling. And I know it's such a petty thing. Especially since I don't particularly like birthdays. But I just wanted to know they were thinking of me. That they still remembered I existed. And I don't want to still feel bitter when I see them next. I want to be happy. But I'm afraid that I am going to. And after all the years that we've been friends I have never been mad at either of them. Why should it be over something like this? Something that, in the long run, does not matter at all. Why should the one time I get mad be over one short phrase that I don't particularly enjoy hearing anyway?

Posted by Serene Chaos at 10:38:00 PM °°°