Serene Chaos

2007-07-17T21:44:00.001-05:00

I never post here anymore, do I?

I graduated at the end of May and am still waking up in the middle of the night to think (read: worry) about that fact.

While I'm definitely keeping this place for posterity (after all, I've had this page for...5 1/2 years or so) I've mostly migrated to the land of the new me (who tries to use bigger words and more complete thoughts).

2007-05-10T16:24:00.000-05:00

I just attended my last. class. EVER as an undergraduate college student.

This is a very traumatic moment in my life.

(Yes, I still have finals, but they are projects and so do not include any real class time.)

2007-03-04T22:05:00.000-06:00

Today I managed to both badly, badly burn a pot of black beans, and perfectly balance my check book. I both fail and succeed at the grown-up life.

2007-02-21T06:38:00.000-06:00

Two things:

I don't remember what the first is.

The 2nd is that someone recently pointed out to me how much she kind-of-hate juniors, because they have so much free time/time to dedicate to non-schoolwork tasks. Well, I will be spending a lot of time with a group of sophomores for the next few weeks - I am doing a volunteer trip during spring break with a group composed almost entirely of sophomores. I have to say they are much, much more annoying than juniors. (And yes, I know I was a sophomore only two short years ago. And I'm sure I irritated the seniors then, too.)

2007-02-18T21:59:00.000-06:00

I finally updated this thing to "new Blogger" or whatever it is being called (because it wouldn't let me log in without doing so). Now I can use tags. That's fun. I don't know what to tag this post. (I also have a fear that I'm going to spell a tag wrong.)

2007-02-18T21:52:00.000-06:00

Is it bad that my intense desire to live in Spain is based entirely on my love of Almodóvar films?

2007-02-14T14:18:00.000-06:00

The creator of Nerds Rope is a demi-god.

Also, Happy Valentine's Day. Eat a lot of candy. That's the whole point of Valentine's Day.

Also also, I like being reminded how passionate I am about education. I'm really passionate about education.

2007-02-11T22:58:00.000-06:00

Don't put a laptop on top of 2 layers of down blankets. The blankets might suffocate the computer and cause it to become dangerously burning hot. Which may cause the computer to burn your hand when you pick it up.

2007-02-10T19:42:00.000-06:00

It's too cold to exist. An approximately 105degree (F) change from Mexico to here is just too, too much.

2007-01-17T21:49:00.000-06:00

Interesting things found while cleaning:
My middle school bus pass
A Whitney Houston tape I won selling wrapping paper in 6th grade.
A hemp necklace, half finished, that I made when I was 12.
Lots of old stationary.
Keys to an unknown lock.
A diary from elementary school, which includes such gems as:

--July 5 1992 Sun.
To day I'm going to Samantha's brthday party. It is bowling!

--10-17-93
Dear diary. I'm righting in you agan. I'm practiceing for my test agan. I'm on page 47. I have a fish room. Your oner
[R]

--time: 7:49pm Oct. 31, 93
It is Halloween. I went trick-or-treating, I got lots of candy. I also got a quarter. I was a baby. I had a real "pasafire". It was relly fun!

--Feb 28 94
Hi! I'm bord by.

--April 30, 1996
Guess who I like?! NATE, I couldn't beileve it but he's nice. He's easy to talk to and just seams nice. Not to Warner but Warner is an insolt to the human speiceis. Bye

2007-01-17T02:37:00.000-06:00

So, say I'm trying to grow up a little more and get rid of some of my "comfy pants" from high school. If I had to choose one pair of pants to keep, and one pair to get rid of which should I keep; the maroon valour pants, or the navy blue terry cloth pants?

2007-01-15T22:51:00.000-06:00

I was lying on the back of the couch. Like, the part that you lean against. The part that is about 3 inches wide. I was lying on that on my back, trying to balance. Then all the sudden I fell off, onto the floor, with a big boom. Now, I have a bruise on my knee. Bit of advice: Don't lie on the back of the couch. Find other ways to amuse yourself.

2007-01-10T22:30:00.000-06:00

I was thinking back and realized I have now been "blogging" for five years. I don't know if I would consider what I do actually blogging, since it's more like I very sporadically post random comments or stories. (Though I guess in some ways that is the definition of a blog. Hmm...) Anyway, I don't think I've really stuck with any other "hobby" this long (except gymnastics). I don't even know if the infrequency with which I post allows me to consider this an active hobby. However, despite my lack of posting, I do read a lot of blogs still. So that means I'm active in some ways.

Anyway, that was a ramble. When I started this I was in the middle of high school. Now I'm almost done with college. I find it interesting that both myself, and the owners of the other blogs I read, are in such different places now than they used to be. (Well, obviously. Five years is a good while!) Taking the risk of sounding like a stalker for making these comments, I think it's cool just to watch how everyone's lives have changed over the five or six years I've been reading their blogs. To give examples of two people who I know might actually read this, Troy used to be in school (I think), and now he's working and married. Skyte used to work/own/run a day care center, and now has stopped that to go to school to become a veterinarian. (Details may be incorrect.)

I just think that the changes are neat, and the existence of blogs, as little windows into other peoples' lives is a wonderful tool created to open up our eyes to more parts of the world, and more citizens of the world, than we would have previously been privy to.

2007-01-05T10:06:00.000-06:00

I just made a big step.

I went through my AIM buddy list and deleted (almost) all the screen names of the people with whom I used to play Charmed Role-Play-Games in AOL chat rooms back in 1999/2000.

I'm a little bit more grown up today, because of that.

2006-12-18T12:22:00.000-06:00

I hate websites that automatically play music.

2006-12-15T23:38:00.000-06:00

I kind of forgot what blogs are for.

Today I went to a used car place to look for a used car to buy. I have never before bought a car. I'm short, and find driving in most cars uncomfortable, so after sitting in a handful of cars, I had found exactly two that I could comfortably see over the front dashboard. When I asked the man helping me if I could test drive a car, he asked how old I was. I told him 22 (my birthday was about two weeks ago). He laughed and told me he thought I was 16. 16-year-olds aren't allowed to test-drive cars. 22-year-olds are.

(I think that was boring. I'm going to have to read through all the blogs on my list to re-remember what is entertaining to read.)

2006-12-15T23:26:00.000-06:00

I'm back from Mexico. It was an interesting experience, but interesting in a good way. I've been back for about 5 days, and miss my host-mom more than anything else.

(I also miss the food and the warmth.)

Four months of little computer access has made me kind of forget about the world of blogs. I'm going to have to re-addict myself to them.

2006-07-26T22:28:00.000-05:00

I leave to study abroad in Mexico in 9 days.

I finally finished season 2 of Veronica Mars.

I still don't own a bathing suit for Mexico.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to bring with me to Mexico.

I have neither guide books nor have I done extensive internet research on the city I'm going to be in or the country as a whole.

But, Veronica Mars has certainly kept me on the edge of my seat. I'm glad I finally finished it so that I can move on with my life now.

And actually prepare for my 4 months in a new-to-me country.

2006-07-06T00:21:00.000-05:00

So, I finally finished watching season one of Veronica Mars. That is my newest favorite show, (if that wasn't already apparently from the previous two posts). I don't know what it is about this show, but it is addicting.

I am going to somehow "acquire" season two. I need to know what happens next!

2006-07-01T14:55:00.000-05:00

Change that last post to:

In the last three days I have watched 16 episodes. This can't be healthy.

2006-07-01T01:14:00.000-05:00

My sister rented the first DVD of season one of Veronica Mars. I watched the first episode with her and was hooked. I went to the library and checked out disks 2, 3, and 4. In the last 2 days I have watched 9.5 episodes. That show is good!

2006-06-29T18:33:00.000-05:00

I just got the urge to watch a video of "All Your Base Are Belong To Us". I blame it on one of LiveJournal's 404 page messages.

Also, there is nothing, and I repeat nothing funnier to a six-year-old than the word "underwear".

2006-06-27T21:28:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a summer school class at a community college this summer.

Every class day, my teacher keeps her cell phone's wireless hands-free device in her ear throughout the entire class. I don't understand why. She doesn't have the cell phone on her, so it's not like she could actually use it. But, it's always there.

2006-06-22T23:20:00.000-05:00

I just noticed something that I'm sure plenty of other people have already noticed.

In nearly all reality TV shows where there are judges involved, there are three judges. Two are male and one is female. One is Black/non-Caucasian. One is British.

If only I liked these stupid reality shows more, I would be able to give a definitive makeup of all reality TV show judges. Alas, I really don't care that much.

2006-06-13T20:20:00.000-05:00

My computer is back. It doesn't have a new hard drive. I think it does have a new motherboard, (though I'm not entirely sure what the motherboard does).

I'm, oddly, a little disappointed that I didn't get a new hard drive. I was hoping to have a fresh computer start. But alas, I don't.

2006-06-03T23:32:00.000-05:00

You know how I have been complaining about my computer in the not so distant past?

Well, it died two weeks ago. It was on, singing to me as I was falling asleep one night, and by the next morning it had turned itself off and refused to turn back on.

I did loose some things with the death of the hard drive, but I had most of the important things backed up - at least I think I did. (Who knows when I'll figure out that I lost something important to me.)

Very fortunate for me, my 3-year extended warranty is good until the end of June. Had my computer died just one month later, I would have been out of luck. I'm so glad that is not the case (because I certainly can't afford to buy a new computer right now).

I don't know exactly what all they are doing with my computer (it was sent away in a box to be fixed). But, the webpage that updates me on what's happening to my computer says that three parts have been ordered. I don't know what these parts are, but hopefully with their insertion into the computer, my computer can pull through for another three years. (Yeah, wishful thinking, but I'm still hoping.)

So, that's my newest excuse for not posting, I guess. Lack of my own computer to post off of.

2006-05-19T10:05:00.000-05:00

If, upon turning in my final project, my professor tells me twice that I should go celebrate the end of the semester (definitely implying alcoholic consumption), does that mean that maybe I'm a little too high-strung?

2006-05-18T20:08:00.000-05:00

I only have one thing left to do for this semester. It's due at 9:00AM tomorrow. I have absolutely no motivation to work on it. I should though, seeing as how I'm already tired, and I really should start packing since I'm leaving in 2 days and I have not even begun to contemplate packing. I still have my photos up and sticky-notes on my desk, and a fridge full of food that needs to go away so that I can defrost the refrigerator.

Oh, I don't know if I've mentioned it. I'm going to study abroad in Mexico next fall (starting in late summer). So I'm not even going to be here at G--- College next semester. I'm excited on both accounts, (both going to Mexico, and not being in G--- Town). So when I leave, I'm not coming back for a while. Yippie! (And, some sad. But a lot of Yay!)

2006-05-16T17:12:00.001-05:00

How can Everwood get cut from the CW (the new WB/UPN hybrid), while 7th Heaven gets signed on for 11 more episodes? Something is just not right with the world.

2006-05-16T17:12:00.000-05:00

How can Everwood get cut from the CW (the new WB/UPN hybrid), while 7th Heaven gets signed on for 11 more episodes? Something is just not right with the world.

2006-05-11T18:02:00.000-05:00

I love/hate PhD Comics. I just spent the last 45 minutes reading them, instead of writing my final paper. Certainly a productive way to spend my time.

2006-05-10T13:21:00.000-05:00

I hate when class or 3-hour lab is canceled, because then I have these extra hours in my day, and I don't know how to use them, so I just goof-off or procrastinate, and then I end up hating myself for having wasted so much time when I could have been working on one of three final projects.

*sigh*

2006-05-06T11:21:00.000-05:00

I just ran a charity 5k. And by "ran" I mean I walked most of it and ran the last 1k or so.

And I'm pretty sure I had 55-year-old professors running the whole thing.

I actually had a professor 1 year away from retirement walk the whole thing, and beat me. That's embarrassing.

(I could have run at least 1k or 2k more, but the people I was doing it with wanted to walk.)

2006-05-04T14:34:00.000-05:00

Have I ever mentioned how I love, love Latin pop music?

I'm listening to Juanes right now, y es el mejor.

2006-05-03T16:43:00.000-05:00

I'm mad that a9.com stopped using google as its search engine. I loved the 3-colum version of a9 that included:
|google for web|google for images|wikipedia|

Now, no google for web or images. :-(

2006-05-03T07:20:00.000-05:00

The best gossip is true gossip.

And I received some. And it was wonderful.

I'm usually grossly out-of-the-loop. This gossip pertained to me personally though, and I am really glad that someone broke confidentiality to tell me the truth about something that I had, apparently, been lied to about in a pretty severe way.

2006-04-23T23:20:00.000-05:00

I hate feeling stupid, because I received a really good study guide (a list of possible questions, or questions to answer to prepare for the test) and did not take advantage of it at all. (Aka: Did not start studying before 10PM the night before the test.)

Ugh. Stop procrastinating and get your priorities together, self.

2006-04-21T17:37:00.000-05:00

Some days I cannot for the life of me figure out what the point of academia is. All the reading, writing, analyzing of data that 99% of people don't understand. Some days I have an oddly strong desire to go to grad school and do really cool research and write articles and get them published. Frequently, I feel both things on the same day which doesn't make much sense, and is just overall confusing for me.

Higher education is a strange institution.

2006-04-16T13:35:00.000-05:00

The campus email server is down for some reason. Everyone is freaking out like it's the apocalypse or something. We are so dependent on our campus email accounts - it's how we communicate with others. People forget that we can still call people or even, *gasp* go see them.

I do want my email back though. It's not very motivating to be told that "Your username does not exist on this domain." I don't exist! That's sure a boost to my self-esteem!

2006-04-08T11:09:00.000-05:00

I just received an email from my grandparents. My favorite part about it was that, for some reason, instead of apostrophes, my grandma used exclamation points. It made the whole email that much more wonderful.

2006-04-07T07:35:00.000-05:00

I spilled a 16oz cup of tea on one of the computers in the library yesterday. Luckily, it mostly went under the keyboard instead of in the keyboard. It did kind of get into the mouse though. There was no sweetener in the tea so nothing was sticky. I had a handful of napkins in my bag left over from lunch. I pulled them out, dried it all up the best I could, and ran away.

I spilled the tea while I was logging in to begin my computer consultant job. There is some amount of irony in that.

(Also, I have been writing more - a lot more - elsewhere. If you want to know where, send me an email.)

2006-03-17T20:13:00.000-06:00

I'm going to be out of town for the next two weeks. So at least I'll have an excuse for my complete lack of posts.

2006-03-06T07:32:00.000-06:00

Dear Computer,

I have a few problems with you. Maybe if I list them out, and you see how much you have been acting up lately, you will start behaving.
1) You, for some reason, are super super slow. Now, you have sufficient memory. You have no spyware/adware. You have no viruses. You have no reason to be this slow. I take very good care of you.
2) You are so loud! I know it's good to have the fan on sometimes. But you always have the fan on. And you don't just have the fan going slowly. It's going at full blast. Loudly.
3) You have ceased to play any DVDs. At first, you just wouldn't play my Buffy DVDs. I thought maybe you just didn't like Joss Whedon. Then you stopped playing Gilmore Girls and Everwood too. So I thought you had something against the WB. Then you wouldn't play anything except my pilates DVDs. Okay, maybe you don't like TV or Movies, but at least you valued health. Now you won't even play the pilates DVDs. That is just the last straw. I love my pilates DVDs.

So in summary, dear computer, you need to shape up. I'm pretty sure that my warranty is expired so I can't fix you. You're having all these problems and you need to work them out on your own. Some days I too am feeling slow or tired, when that I happens, I take a nap or have some caffeine. I leave you alone from about 9:00AM until about 5:00PM Monday through Friday. This should give you plenty of time to rest.

Get over your problems!

Love,
R.

2006-02-25T15:26:00.000-06:00

Can I uninstall/delete Microsoft Works off my computer without causing problems? I never use it, and my computer is low on hard drive space.

2006-02-21T22:09:00.000-06:00

I was talking to my professor the other day. Among other things, she now knows I keep a "journal", and she knows I type it instead of hand write it.

She doesn't know that I occasionally comment about her and publish it on the internet, though. I kept that part out of the conversation.

2006-02-17T17:30:00.000-06:00

I'm still alive. I don't have anything interesting to say though.

2006-02-01T17:36:00.000-06:00

Observed Professor Conversation of the Day, as we were leaving class.

Prof: (giggles)
Students: ---
Prof: Earlier today, I wished a student a happy hump day, and he looked at me really strange. I didn't mean what he thought I meant.
Student A: Yeah, people our age probably would interpret that differently.
Prof: Yeah. So I was going to wish you a happy hump day too. But instead I'll just wish you a happy middle-of-the-week.
Student A: At my high school, people would always eat green M&Ms on Wednesdays, because, you know.
Prof: Yeah. They're supposed to make you horny.

2006-01-31T08:13:00.000-06:00

The downside of having classes with fewer than 5 students?

You can't just skip out on your science lab to go listen to a speaker at Big State University even if it would be really cool and informative.

2006-01-30T22:29:00.000-06:00

I was working in a computer lab on campus. Some girl pulled out a flask, took a sip, and put it away.

2006-01-28T20:43:00.000-06:00

I decided it would be fun to add up all the pages I need to read for next week.

That wasn't a good idea. The number is too high. While reading 297 pages in a week doesn't seem like that much if I'm reading for fun, when it is comprised of psychological studies and other academic readings, it gets a little scary.

Thus, I am doing homework on a Saturday night. Again.

2006-01-27T19:53:00.000-06:00

Is it weird that I noticed that my professor re-died her hair? Last class, I noticed there was some grey at the roots and some grey strands throughout, which I had never noticed before. Today, the color was richer than it had been the previous class. And I could tell where the grey strands had been because they were even brighter than the rest of the hair.

Re-reading this: yes, it's weird and kind of creepy that I noticed all that. The thing is, I have to focus intently on the professor's face in order to stay focused and concentrate. The hair is right next to the face. So, when I start spacing out (despite my best effort not to), the hair next to the face is the first thing I see.

2006-01-24T21:49:00.000-06:00

Usually if I need to remember something I write it on a post-it note and stick it to my desk or the wall or a book. But, I'm out of post-it notes and I'm never going to be able to remember to buy new ones because I have nowhere to write "buy post-it notes".

2006-01-22T15:37:00.000-06:00

The semester is about to start. One of my classes was canceled about two days before it was supposed to start, which is a great way to begin the semester. I lost my keys the first day back - another great way to start. (Luckly, I found them again pretty quickly.) My books are super-expensive (as usual, but slightly more than usual). And, I'm already freaking out about nothing at all.

Semester of stress (including two lab science classes): ready, set, GO!

2006-01-16T21:58:00.000-06:00

I just realized!!

I missed my blog-birthday on January 1st or 2nd. (Depending on whether or not the "test test test" entry counts as my first entry.)

I am 4 years old!

I began as a junior in high school, and am now a junior in college. When I started this blog, I had never maintained any type of journal or log for more than, oh, one week? So, despite the fact that I can go for long periods of time without posting anything, and when I do post it's frequently random ramblings or pointless observations, four years is a big accomplishment for me.

When I began Serene Chaos, I was just starting to think about college and what colleges and/or universities to apply to. I made the choice and now am having to start thinking a tiny bit about what will happen post-college. (ScaryScaryScary.)

I would like to thank the internet, Blogger, and high-speed connections for making this all possible.

2006-01-16T21:39:00.000-06:00

I don't make New Year's resolutions. But I am going to make New Semester resolutions. Or, goals. And I'm going to set my sights low. I don't like failing. I also don't like setting goals. So...

1. Set goals for myself.
2. Do two things each week that scare me/make me nervous. (Should be pretty easy since everything makes me nervous.)
3. Do pilates at least once each week.
4. Go to the gym to use the elliptical at least once each week.
5. Say "hi" to people as I pass them outside/in academic buildings (instead of doing the typical G--- College thing of looking away and ignoring people as you walk by.) Bonus: Use their names if possible.
6. Keep my room clean. (I actually did a pretty good job of this last semester.)

More general goals:
A. Don't be afraid of professors. They are there to help you. Especially the education ones - they are all really friendly and helpful. You can talk to them without cowering.
B. Don't be afraid of people. Especially my friends. Talk to them.
C. Be less guarded. (Connects to above.)
D. Procrastinate less. (Ha! Like that could ever actually happen!)
E. Complain about obvious petty stuff less.
F. Maintain my Spanish-speaking/listening/reading/writing skills so that I don't fail when I study abroad next year.

Alright. Let's see how this all goes.

2006-01-16T21:26:00.000-06:00

I have done so much of nothing all break, that the thought of going back to school and having to interact with peers and professors on a regular basis is starting to make me nervous.

2006-01-15T08:13:00.000-06:00

I have this new thing where I wake up really early and just don't feel like going back to sleep. So I've been waking up at like 5:00, 6:00 every morning, and staying awake despite the fact that I have nothing to do all day. Then, when it gets to be the evening, I am really tired and just want to go to sleep.

2006-01-13T20:19:00.000-06:00

I am back from Israel and trying really hard to recuperate from the complete lack of sleep I received while there, and the eight-hour time difference. The first night I go home, I didn't get to bed until about 1:00AM and slept until 11AM or so. That night I went to bed at 6:00PM woke up at 2:30AM and was unable to fall asleep again. Yesterday I went to sleep at around 9:00PM and woke up this morning at about 4:30 and was unable to fall asleep. Tonight, I'm babysitting so am forcing myself to stay up late so that I can sleep late so that I can someday get back to a normal sleeping schedule.

2005-12-31T00:08:00.000-06:00

I am going to Israel for a week and a half, essentially for free. There is a program set up where, if you are Jewish and between the age of 18 and 26, you can go on a guided trip to Israel, for only the cost of getting yourself to an airport that has flights to Israel.

This is set up by rich Jews who donate a lot of money, and the Israeli government which wants more young Jewish people to move to Israel.

I am not very observant, and not at all spiritual, and I definitely have no desire to ever move to Israel. But, I want a free trip to another country. So, I'm going.

(Of course, instead of packing and getting ready tonight, I spent the entire evening watching my sister's season 1 DVDs of Scrubs, which is the BEST show I had never watched. I am now addicted to Scrubs and need to finish packing so I can get up semi-early to begin a loonnnggg day of travel.

Have a great New Years Eve/Day!

2005-12-24T20:33:00.000-06:00

I just found out that the computer my sister uses, (the old family computer, cleaned out and placed in her room) has no Anti-Virus software. That pains me. Especially since my sister isn't the most careful Internet surfer. I went around telling the rest of my family, but no one seemed as appalled as I am.

2005-12-24T17:45:00.000-06:00

Happy Jews-eat-Chinese-take-out-food Night!

2005-12-18T21:44:00.000-06:00

del.icio.us is down, and I feel kind of lost without it. I didn´t realize how much I depend on it.

On the other hand, it´s officially winter break, and checking weblogs is no longer considered a way to procrastinate, but is instead my main activity for the day.

2005-12-16T11:24:00.000-06:00

You can tell finals week is getting long when you lick a stamp and get frustrated that it won't stick to the postcard you are sending. And then realize that you're supposed to pull the backing off because it's a sticker-stamp, not a lickable-stamp.

2005-12-14T21:42:00.000-06:00

My back was hurting and I wanted to put a heating pad or something on it. Unfortunately, I don't have one. So I improvised. What do I have that emits heat... hmm...

Oh! My computer regularly overheats! I could use that!

So I did. I lied on my floor, with my computer on my back, for the last 20 minutes. Weirdest multi-use of a product ever. But it kind of almost worked.

2005-12-11T23:00:00.000-06:00

The best thing about winter at school is when lots of little paths are formed in the snow, running across the big fields. I feel like I'm a rat in a maze or something. I can only follow the packed down paths. And they are really skinny. If someone else is coming from the other direction, you have to squeeze around each other, or step into the deeper non-packed down snow. One problem, though, is when a path is started, and then just kind of ends in the middle of a snow-drift. Then you end up getting wet.

It's finals week. And last week was the week before finals week. If I end up posting something, it will probably be a rant or a complaint about how busy I am, or how lazy I am, or how I just can't help procrastinating. So that's why I'm avoiding posting. Because those are probably annoying posts.

Also, I got paranoid (for no reason) and tried to remove all instances of my name and my school's name from the blog. There still are some, but fewer than before. I'm still very identifiable as myself if you know me. But it'll be nearly impossible for someone to google my name and my school and come up with this now (or, it will be after google re-indexes the webpage) I think. (Will it work like that? I don't even know.) I'm not really hiding from anyone, and I don't really care if anyone I know in real life finds this blog. (I know at least one person has. Hi, if you're reading this, B. I know you've been reading this since freshman year. And somehow you've read it at least once while studying abroad. I'm impressed.) I just want to make them have to work for it, if they're going to find it. :-)

2005-12-08T17:18:00.000-06:00

ITS Computer Guy: "Did you try checking out the help section on the program?"
Professor: "Well, no, not really."

I could just feel the ITS guy rolling his eyes. I know I was!

2005-12-06T00:12:00.000-06:00

I'm going through one of those unfortunate times where all I can do is constantly worry about all that I have to do, and think about how I'm never going to be able to finish it all. But I'm not able to actually, like, work on anything. Just worry about it.

2005-12-03T13:12:00.000-06:00

In less then 12 hours, I will be able to legally purchase and consume alcoholic beverages, if I ever have the desire to do so.

I'll also be the same age my grandmother was when she married my grandfather. I'm told this every time I see her.

2005-11-29T12:35:00.000-06:00

I have created a new blog where I can write about education things. I don't feel anonymous enough on here. You can pretty easily find it by combining my first name with my school's name (which I just realized and is pretty creepy, actually). And once you get that far, you can kind of automatically know who I am (because of the whole super-small school thing). So, since I frequently want to gossip about my professors, and occasionally want to mention things I have observed in my observations. And I don't want to constantly be afraid that the wrong people might read it and either fail me or kick me out of the program, I will keep Serene Chaos to write about all the random things I usually write about, and I will move the education and pre-school musings over to the special new place.

Do you want to read about my education musings? My favorite pre-school moments?
Either leave a comment with your email address, or email me ( serenechaos at gmail dot com ). I'll give you the new address.

2005-11-27T22:42:00.000-06:00

Ahhh.... The stress. It's a comin'.

2005-11-19T23:42:00.000-06:00

It's always comforting when, after observing an elementary school class, the teacher whose class you are observing confesses to you that she "hates it". "It" being teaching the class. Really, there is no appropriate response I could have made to that.

2005-11-16T19:18:00.000-06:00

My sister came to visit me at school. I saw my education adviser in the hall, and stopped to introduce her to my sister.

"This is M----, my adviser."

My adviser's response?

"Yeah. Kinda..."

I'm sorry. What does that even mean?!

2005-11-14T22:20:00.000-06:00

I'm a horrible person. My dorm phone was ringing. And I didn't feel like answering it. So I unplugged it, instead of answering it.

(I just checked the message and it was someone looking for a toaster over, which I don't have. So I don't feel too bad. I couldn't have helped her anyway.)

2005-11-13T18:11:00.000-06:00

The Story of the Absentminded Professor:

I was sitting in the seminar room/Education library where one of my classes is held - the class in which I am the only student. Since the class is really comprised of two half-semester classes, each with a different professor, I do not have the same professor as I did before (when I was first terrified, then raving about the class).

So, I was sitting there, five minutes before class was supposed to start, waiting for the professor to come in. She usually gets there about five minutes early. I was sitting, and waiting. Working on some work for one of my other education classes. I looked up at the clock and realized she was late. I went back to working. I looked over at my watch and realized that she was 10 minutes late. I went over to the computer in the room and checked my email - thinking maybe she's emailed me saying she was going to be late/not coming. I didn't have any new emails.

I sat back down and tried to decide what to do. I was a little concerned. I mean, she is a professor and supposed to be professional and all. I was worried that maybe something horrible had happened and that's why she wasn't there. After all, she's supposed to be responsible and show up to class on time every day.

About 20 minutes after class was supposed to have begun, I decided to go up to the education professors' offices and ask the other professors if they knew anything about where she was. I walk up the stairs, and see my professor sitting at her desk in her office with the door wide open. Confused, I knock on her door frame. She greets me and sits there expectantly. I stand there confused. "Um...aren't we supposed to be having class now?" I ask.

She gets all flustered, stands up, walks out of her office, goes back into her office to get her notebook, and then follows me down to the room where we hold class. She makes the excuse that she got really caught up in what she was writing and didn't realize what time it was.

I spent the remaining 30 minutes trying really really hard not to crack up every time I looked at her. Thankfully, I succeed.

2005-11-06T16:12:00.000-06:00

Someone just came into the computer lab where I am working and asked me if I had an extra mouse-pad he could use. He looked surprised when I said that I didn't. I'm sorry. Do most computer labs just keep an arsenal of extra mouse-pads lying around in the closet, in case someone wants to use one with their personal labtop?

2005-11-06T01:52:00.000-06:00

Upon waking up very confused as to what was going on about 30 minutes ago, I realized that the loud noise was not part of my dream. I opened my door, mostly asleep. I saw one of my floor mates standing in the hall with her jacket.

"Are you going down?" she ask me. It wasn't until then that I woke up enough to realize that it was the fire alarm going off. I went back into my room, pulled on a sweatshirt, grabbed my keys and a jacket, and headed downstairs to stand outside the dorm with everyone else.

I got down and went outside. "Hi [R]!" one of my freshman's friends enthusiastically greeted me as I exited the door. I looked around and something was confusing me, but I wasn't sure what, exactly, it was. I saw someone else leave the dorm in pink plaid pajamas and a jacket. She looked over and realized I was who I was, and I realized she was who she was, and since we are friends she came over to huddle in the cold/talk with me. "I've got my bunnies with me," she said, indicating toward her zipped up jacket, which was pulled tight across the stuffed bunnies tucked in her shirt. "Where you asleep too?" she asked me?

Then I realized what was confusing me. Everyone else, for the most part, was wearing jeans. My friend in her pajamas, and myself in my pink patterned pajama pants, were two of the very few people who had been woken up by the noise. Everyone else had still been awake. Because it's Saturday night, and they were up partying or whatever. I started laughing. "What is it?" she questioned me. I pointed out to her our outfits which screamed sleepwear, and everyone else's that...didn't.

A security officer came by, looked into the doorway of the dorm, and then walked away. Nothing else happened for a few minutes. It sounded, for a second, like the alarms had stopped. Someone opened the door to go back inside. We realized that the alarms were still going off, we had just gotten used to them. My floor mate called Security on her cell phone, just to make sure they were actually aware that the entire cluster of dorms was standing outside due to a fire alarm, and was someone going to come turn it off. As she was calling, she looked over and saw a security van pull up.

A minute later, the noise stopped. My pink pajama pants and I went back up to my room. I took off my jacket and stepped back into the hall. "Did you go down?" asked another one of my floor mates, who I had not seen downstairs. I probably grunted something indicating "yes". I went back into my room, and attempted to calm down enough to go back to sleep.

2005-11-02T15:50:00.000-06:00

So I definitely just had one of the most embarrassing class moments I've ever had. I was leading a discussion, and got so confused as to what I was trying to say, that my goal became to confuse everyone else so much that I could just end the discussion. Seriously. Badness. I somehow managed to not blush at all throughout this (I think. I didn't feel my face get hot). But, at the end of class, the professor said something, I think trying to make my mass confusion seem less bad, but instead it just made blush. Darn.

Ahhh.

In other fun news. I totally got stood up by one of my advisors yesterday. I was supposed to meet with her, and she didn't show up. Nice, huh.

2005-10-31T06:20:00.000-06:00

Prof A: "Let's pretend that [R] is an adult..." (The professor was putting me in the category of 'teacher' as opposed to the category of 'student' for an example.)

Prof B: "Hi [R]. You look like a woman on a mission." (I was walking to class, I didn't want to be late.)

Prof C: "[R], you're funny!" (I had asked for a canceled class to be un-canceled. Not because I'm funny but because I'm neurotic.)

Prof D: "Do you remember last year when some high school students from town were riding bikes around campus at night, pinching girls' butts? I can't help but laugh about that. I know it's mean, and I'm sure it was very scary for the girls. But still..." (I have no idea what brought up this conversation. But I had to agree with this professor. I laughed about it too, even though that's mean and if it had happened to me I would have been very scared.)

2005-10-31T05:26:00.000-06:00

Daylight Savings Time makes remarkably little difference when you wake up at 5:30.

2005-10-30T22:19:00.000-06:00

I have a 3 page literature review due tomorrow, for which I haven't yet actually read any articles. And I wonder why I don't get the best grades.

(In my defense, I have read about 175 pages for that same class and other classes, and worked on two other assignments for that same class, so far this weekend. So I haven't been totally slacking.)

*sigh*

2005-10-30T14:19:00.000-06:00

The other day I came out of the bathroom to find some of the freshmen on my floor, and their friends (male and female), sitting in the hall listening to, and singing along with, Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone".

Right now they are all listening to and singing along to "Leaving on a Jet Plane".

They make me laugh. :-)

2005-10-28T08:24:00.000-05:00

For some reason, the custodian is cleaning the bathroom right now, instead of in the afternoon when he usually does. I really need to take a shower! I have to be at work in 35 minutes! Aahhh. If he usually cleaned in the morning, I would know not to expect to take a shower in the morning. But, my hair is really dirty and I want to be cleeaaannn.

< / rant of the morning >

2005-10-24T23:56:00.000-05:00

Just like a watched pot never boils...

A watched printer never finishes printing a large PDF file.

2005-10-22T20:41:00.000-05:00

I was babysitting for a 6-year-old girl (and her dog). We were taking the dog for a walk at the park. Her dog and another dog started playing/smelling each-other. The girl began talking to the owner of the other dog.

Girl: My dog is part hunting dog.
Women: Oh? Has he ever gone hunting?
Girl: No! Hunting is a very bad thing to do!

Ahh, the daughter of a liberal vegetarian... It's always interesting what little kids pick up from their parents.

2005-10-18T17:16:00.000-05:00

The story of two suburban girls who don't know how to park a car.

I am at home for Fall Break, and was going to see Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind at The Neofuturarium with my (16-year-old) sister.

The parking for the show is on the street only. I can usually find parking on one large/busy/main street, Foster, but on this day the only spaces were surrounded by other cars, necessitating that I parallel park. Which I don't exactly know how to do. So, I drove around the block, and my sister and I switched spaces. She claimed that she knew how to parallel park and could do it. We got back to the theoretical parking places and my sister tried to park. After a minute, she gave up. I told her that if we could turn the car around, we could park on the other side of the road, which was very empty of parked cars, which would make "fake" parallel parking possible (aka pulling up behind a car, and leaving a gap small enough so that no car will park in between our car and the other car, but big enough so that I can easily pull out).

What I meant was that she should figure out how to navigate the one-way streets and figure out how to turn the car around, and then drive back to Foster facing the other direction. My sister took what I said to mean "make a U-turn on a main road". I didn't realize that was how she had interpreted it until after she did it.

She now knows not to make U-turns on main/busy roads.

The U-turn did result in a pretty nice parking place, though...

2005-10-13T23:20:00.000-05:00

A while back, someone asked me to babysit, I said I could, hung up, realized I couldn't, and realized that I never got their phone number.
As a result of my continued inability to contact them and the fact that I will be leaving school for my fall break for the next week and will not be able to access my school voice mail, I just left this as the outgoing message on my dorm phone:

"Hello, you've reached [R]'s room. I'm not here right now.

If you are the family who I'm supposed to babysit for on October XX- I have been trying to reach you, but without success. I called the people who gave you my number a few times, trying to get your phone number to call you, but they never responded to my messages. I am so sorry, but I cannot babysit for you on the XXnd. I will not be in [---town]. If you have any questions, you can call me on my cell phone at 555-555-5555."

2005-10-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

Heard in passing...

"Like, and like. And so, I'm like...like. And he's like..."

2005-10-13T00:41:00.000-05:00

Things I have done to procrastinate:

Drink 64 ounces of tea.
Visit the restroom about a million times. (See above.)
Brush my teeth really well.
Clean out my keyboard.
Post photos of book covers on Amazon.
Check my e-mail way too many times.
Written thank-you notes.
Gone to the microwave three floors down, when there were about three I could have used on own floor.
Called my mom and left her a voice message.

2005-10-12T20:47:00.000-05:00

In one of the books I am reading for class, The Ethics of Special Education there is a case study entitled:

"Pull-out is Best"

We may be mature college students. And we almost got through the two hour class without laughing about it. But we just couldn't make it.

2005-10-12T19:04:00.000-05:00

I have to write a 5 - 7 page paper for this guy tonight. (I don't know how long this story will actually stay on the [---- College] homepage, and it gives no direct link.) I haven't started. Bad.

2005-10-11T21:37:00.000-05:00

Nancy Drew Mystery #143: The Mystery of the Missing Grading Rubric.

It was Right Here 3 minutes ago. Now it's gone. I'm so confused. Come back grading rubric. Come back! I neeeeed yooouuuu!

Edited: I found the rubric! Mystery solved! (Um, it was on my desk. Under another piece of paper.)

I didn't used to enjoy being the only person in one of my classes, but now I really like it. The missing grading rubric is for that class. As it is a half semester class (to be followed by another half semester class in which I am the only student, but with a different professor), it is ending on Friday. So I am turning in my final project (the painfully written lesson plans) tomorrow.

Whenever I mention to anyone that I am the only student in one of my classes, they ask how that happened, and what it's like.

I think, in truth, it is a really good thing for me. I often don't speak in classes (though in education classes, I actually do speak on a fairly regular basis). And I have this odd fear of professors. So, being forced to spend time, one-on-one with a professor (or, two of them actually, by the time the semester is over), will have been good for me. Since I don't really speak in class, and I don't speak with professors outside of class, I have never really had anyone who I felt I could ask for recommendations. Now though, I think I can legitimately ask this professor for a recommendation if needed (and I'm actually planning on asking for one soon). Also, I think I was lucky because this professor is a really good professor - she's very passionate and knowledgeable about the subject (it is basically what she wrote her doctoral thesis on, I think). But, in some ways that is kind of problematic. Because she knows what she wants, and because I respect her comments so much, I want my work to be perfect, which it never will be (because perfection is unattainable). But overall, this class was a very good experience for me. I've never been this disappointed that a class is going to end, both because I will not be doing the readings anymore (which were, overall, very interesting), I won't be thinking about the subject anymore (which is very interesting), and I won't be talking with the professor on a regular basis anymore (I'll still see her sometimes though - she's one of my advisers).

2005-10-02T23:28:00.000-05:00

In regards to education, I feel that I am getting both more idealistic than I used to be, and more pessimistic than I used to be, at the same time.

I have all these things that I want to happen. So many idealized scenarios that could happen in a classroom given the right circumstances. Given teacher desire and student willingness. And then I look at what's really happening in the schools. I see the lack of funding (the PE teacher here has to run around between three different schools. And they're lucky that they even have a PE teacher), hear stories of administrators who are frighteningly similar to Principal Snyder (a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer - a principal who just didn't seem to care about the students or the teachers). I hear about teachers who love teaching and love their students, but cannot stand to continue working in public schools because of the bureaucracy.

And this literally scares me. The future of our country. There are wonderful teachers out there, young teachers full of idealism who want to help and change the world. Older teachers who have the background knowledge and years of experience to be great. And yet these teachers who want to change it all, want to create thinking human beings to live in and create a better world tomorrow, so many of them cannot stand the ridiculous rules, the insane amounts of testing that take away from class time, and the administration that cannot seem to show that they care what happens to the teachers or the students.

I'm afraid that when I'm out there, a teacher, it will all be worse. I don't know if it actually has been getting progressively worse, or it just seems that way since I'm new to learning about educational issues. But if it is getting worse and worse, what will it be like in two years when I'm out there? Will I be able to stand the bureaucracy and work around the endless standards and standardized tests to teach children to think like the intelligent human beings they are?

I really don't know if I'll be able to do it all. And that really scares me.

2005-10-02T11:14:00.000-05:00

Random High School Memory (I don't know where it came from, but here it is):

In the middle of my freshman World History class one day, the teacher stopped, and sniffed the air. She thought she smelled someone smoking pot in the hallway. She went outside, looked around, came back into the room, and continued teaching.

I have no idea why that memory just jumped into my head. But -poof!- there it was.

2005-09-29T12:43:00.000-05:00

Because I'm an idiot, I got myself into a situation where I had to leave this phone message (I wrote it out before I called, figuring at this hour in the day I would be leaving a message, and not talking to an actual person):

"Hi, my name is [R] ____ and ____ ____ gave you my phone number as a potential babysitter. I believe you gave my number to someone else, who called and asked me to sit for them. I said I could, but after hanging up realized that I couldn't, and also realized that I failed to get their phone number. Could you give me the phone number of the person who you gave my number to? Thanks, and sorry for the confusion. You can call me back at ___-____."

Moral of the story: get the phone number of people who you talk to. Even if you don't think you're going to have to call them back. Also, get their name. I didn't write that down either, and forgot what it is.

2005-09-28T17:19:00.000-05:00

Mamacita wrote a wonderful post about United States public education, and the obscene use of standardization and excessive use of statistics to grade the students, the schools, and the teachers.

Here are a couple of her quotes, but the whole post is wonderfully written and should be read.

"An infinite question is often destroyed by finite answers. To define everything is to annihilate much that gives us laughter and joy. Current methodology, the morbid preoccupation with scores and statistics, is destroying our society's ontology: its essence, its BEING."

"We must never lose sight of the fact that civilizations are judged by the arts they leave behind, not for statistics and varsity letters. What will the archaeologists of the future be able to say about our civilization? That we taught our children to be joyless? That we valued a statistic far more than a painting? That we stifled laughter and encouraged apathy? "Where are the statues and paintings and stories?" Can you hear them wondering? CAN you?"

2005-09-26T22:44:00.000-05:00

The fire-alarm just went off in my dorm, so we all had to clear out for a few minutes. (Luckily, there was no real fire.) Before I left my room, I checked my e-mail. Seriously, an addiction like that is just not healthy.

2005-09-26T21:56:00.000-05:00

When I work in the computer labs, I am usually working in labs where people write papers. I hear the constant tap-tap-tap of the keyboards. The campus recently opened up a new computer lab for a digital art class. I'm working in there now and the sound is very different. Instead of the tap-tap-tap of the keyboards writing papers in Word, I hear the click-click-click of the mice creating projects in Illustrator.

2005-09-26T19:23:00.000-05:00

Observations I have made about professors' clothing in the past few days. (Yeah, I know, I'm 12.)

Male professor: His pants zipper (aka "fly") was down for the entire 2 hour class. He was standing up right in front of me. I was sitting down. My eyes were pretty much level with the unzipped zipper. Quite distracting.

Female professor: Wearing a long jumper. Two problems here. 1: She was wearing a jumper. 2: The skirt was very see-through. Oh look! There are her legs! Oh look! That's where her shirt goes down to.

Female professor #2: This professor usually wears very loose clothing. Long pants and a roomy shirt. Flowey skirt and a roomy shirt. Then one day, she comes in in a much shorter skirt (standing up, it was probably at her knees, but sitting down it was closer to mid-thigh) and a tight, low-ish cut shirt (covered by a blazer though). Her outfit wasn't inappropriate or anything, but it was such a big contrast from the usual near-mumu.

And that's the end of my shallow observations for the day. Soon I'll write about something with more substance. Like the fact that I, like kindergarteners, think my teachers/professors actually live at school, and just pull a cot out from under their desk to sleep on. Which is a problematic thought since I soon will be a teacher, and have no desire to live in the classroom.

2005-09-24T15:20:00.000-05:00

I am writing a paper and need to cite one of my textbooks. I looked up the copyright date for the citation. The book's most current copyright date is 2006.

What?

2005-09-23T19:48:00.000-05:00

I just realized I have a t-shirt.

The brand is "Misdemeanor".

The slogan on the shirt?: "Give Peace a Chance".

Isn't there some irony or something in there?